


Doctor's Orders

by misura



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Sex Pollen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-27
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:55:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29739750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: "If touching my ears would make you feel better, I have no objection," Spock said.
Relationships: James T. Kirk/Spock
Kudos: 69
Collections: Froday Flash Fiction Fandom Battle





	Doctor's Orders

"You're kidding me," Jim said, because seriously?

Bones scowled and mumbled something about getting Spock to 'take care of' Jim, which - hilarious, except not. He did move in the general direction of the exit, which Jim found at once highly alarming and an immense relief.

"You're just going to leave me here?"

Bones had, indeed, left him there, but five seconds, or minutes, or hours later Spock showed up, so Jim supposed he shouldn't complain. He quite liked Spock. Spock was very attractive. In fact, Jim might go so far as to say that Spock was downright sexy.

"As the Doctor informed me that you are currently under the influence of an aphrodisiac, I will interpret your statement as an indication that this diagnosis was indeed correct," Spock said.

"Wow," Jim said. "Not even a 'thank you'?" Sexy or not, he decided that Spock was kind of a dick.

"Thanking you for having accidentally ingested a potentially harmful substance would hardly be logical," Spock said, pretty much proving Jim right, which was nice and not really something a dick would have done, so maybe Spock wasn't really such a dick after all.

Also, Jim felt that maybe he was spending a little too much time thinking the word 'dick'. It was giving him - not ideas, exactly. More like fantasies. Questions.

Spock had one, obviously, and Jim himself had one, but, well, Spock was freakishly strong and kind of weird and he had pointy ears, so maybe what he had in his pants was kind of weird, too?

"Captain," Spock said, "if there is anything I can do to help, that _is_ what I am here for."

Jim considered saying that for starters, Spock should maybe not say stuff like that, because Jim had about a dozen thoughts about how Spock could 'help' and none of them were actually helpful.

He said, "Uh. Thanks, Spock. Appreciate it."

What had Bones been _thinking_? As far as cruel and unusual punishments went, this one seemed a bit over the top, even for Bones. The way Jim was feeling, he might actually assault Spock, or at least try to kiss him, or tell him he wanted to touch Spock's ears or something, and then what?

"If touching my ears would make you feel better, I have no objection," Spock said.

"Yeah, well, I do. Have an objection," Jim said. "If I'm going to touch your ears, I want it to be because you want me to touch your ears, not because I've been dosed with some stupid thing."

Spock inclined his head. "You were, I believe, thoroughly briefed on the dangers of partaking of any of the local food as prepared by the natives."

"All right, maybe just a quickie," Jim said, because he so didn't need a lecture right now.

On the other hand, maybe Spock found lecturing a turn-on? That kind of sounded like Spock, honestly, wooing potential partners by berating them and showing off his superior intellect and logic.

"I assure you, my wooing methods are much more sophisticated," Spock said. "I must admit that in your case, they have also proven highly ineffective. However, it is my opinion that - "

"Wait, what?" Jim said, because hang on one damn minute here. "You've been _wooing_ me?"

"That is what I just said, yes," Spock said. "Thank you for unwittingly illustrating my point."

"You ... " Jim really, really wanted to either strangle Spock or hug him. Preferably both at once. "Unwittingly? When - how - why didn't you say anything?"

Spock frowned. "I was under the impression I just did."

"Yeah, but - " Jim counted to ten. Slowly. Twice. "You maybe could have said something sooner? Before I got this - this." He gestured at himself.

Spock obligingly looked him up and down. Jim wondered if Spock was thinking the same thing Jim was thinking. Probably not. Spock was ... Spock.

By way of proving this, Spock said, "I will allow that the current situation is somewhat less than ideal."

"You think?"

"On the other hand, as the substance's effect mostly seems to involve lowering your inhibitions and heightening the sensitivity of certain areas of your body, it might also be considered that the present circumstances are in fact highly conductive to establishing a better understanding," Spock said.

"A better understanding," Jim repeated. He realized that between wanting to hug Spock and wanting to strangle him, the strangling was kind of winning.

Spock frowned as if sensing this and disapproving of Jim's violent (but very reasonable and Jim felt eminently logical) impulses. "It was my understanding that your intelligence would not be affected. Perhaps I misunderstood."

"You mean, like I misunderstood all that wooing you've been doing for - how long exactly?"

Spock checked the time. "It has now been five months, two weeks, three days and approximately nine hours since I first approached you with the intent of pursuing a relationship of a romantic and sexual nature."

"Five _mo_ \- please tell me you're kidding me." Jim tried to remember something. Anything. Some comment Spock had made or some look Spock had given him. Something Jim had maybe written off as meaningless or wishful thinking at the time.

He came up with nothing. Nada. Spock had been Spock. Attractive and annoying. Logical and impossible. Not too broken up over Uhura hooking up with someone new, as far as Jim could tell, but then, he figured that was Spock being Spock. Probably thought it would be illogical to get upset over an ex finding someone new to be happy with.

"Deception rarely aids in establishing a functional relationship," Spock said.

Jim laughed. He realized he was beginning to feel pretty damn good about - well, everything.

Spock's expression shifted by a millimeter, indicating either worry or amusement.

"So basically, what you're saying is, these past five months, we could have been dating and having sex and all that stuff, instead of not doing those things?"

Spock opened his mouth, probably to correct Jim's math, then seemed to think better of it and said, "Essentially."

"Huh," Jim said, trying to work out how he felt about that. Disappointed, he supposed. It did seem kind of a waste.

"Captain," Spock said. "Jim. May I ask why, if you had such an interest, you chose not to make this interest known to me, instead limiting yourself to complaining about my perceived unavailability to Doctor McCoy?"

"Bones _told_ you?" Whatever had happened to doctor-patient privilege, Jim would like to know. Or, heck, friends keeping other friends's secrets.

"Only very recently, in the interest of preserving your life," Spock said. "Speaking of which, it may be wise to proceed. More severe symptoms may be forthcoming."

"I feel fine," Jim said. He did. A bit dizzy, a little horny ... a lot like he wanted to do some not necessarily sexy things to Spock. "You don't need to stay."

"Nonetheless, I choose to do so," Spock said.

"Fine. You do you," Jim said.

"I also choose to remove my shirt," Spock said, doing so. Jim could tell Spock was trying to make just a bit of a show out of it, except that the Vulcan part of him didn't see the logic, so it ended up more clumsy than hot.

Then again, it did end with a shirtless Spock, so.

"All right, this is getting a bit weird, and not in a good way," Jim said.

Spock arched an eyebrow. "You would prefer me to leave? I can locate Doctor McCoy and inform him of my failing to render meaningful assistance."

Jim imagined that particular conversation and winced. "Uh, no, thanks, Spock. That won't be necessary. Just ... you weren't kidding about those five months, right? Or, I don't know, humoring me or something? You really were flirting with me?"

"Five months, two weeks, three days and approximately nine hours," Spock said. "Affirmative."

"Right," Jim said. "So uh, you want to come over here and give me a hand with my pants?"

"Well, _finally_ ," Bones said. "What did the two of you do in there that took so long?"

Jim felt good. Great, even. The greatest. It seemed kind of a pity Bones didn't, so Jim decided to try and fix that.

"What," Bones said.

"I believe the sentiment the Captain is trying to express is 'thank you'," Spock said.

"Don't need a damn hug to say thanks," Bones said, pushing Jim away in a manner that put a tiny bit of a dent in Jim's great mood. "Anyway, just doing my job. No need to get all clingy."

"Bones, you're a genius, a great friend and an excellent doctor," Jim said.

Bones scowled.

"I concur with two of those statements," Spock said.

"What? Which is the one you disagree with, huh? On second thought, never mind," Bones said, scowl deepening. "Go find a place to lie down or something."

"But we just - " Jim started.

"To _rest_. God." Bones rolled his eyes, then turned and walked away, still muttering.

"Right," Jim said. "So. My room or yours?"

**Author's Note:**

> it's Star Trek movies week over at the [Froday Flash Fiction Community](https://fffc.dreamwidth.org/): feel free to throw a ship and/or prompt at me if you'd like. :)
> 
> (the least popular fandom cycles out at the end of the week, so no guarantees.)


End file.
